Making Your Home a Haven not a Hornet’s Nest

Recently the news media has been all over this poor 22 year old mom, Casey Anthony, who is suspected of having killed her three year old daughter Caylee. She was in jail, then out of jail, back in jail and now out again. I can’t imagine what was going on in that household. I’m certainly not here to judge. I don’t know all the facts. But the whole mess is a sad indication that for so many kids these days, home is no longer a place of safety, a haven where a child can grow up feeling loved and feeling safe, secure and affirmed.

Seems that in our pursuit of the American dream, our clamor for more and more things, we wind up piling on more debt. With that debt comes an overwhelming pressure that cracks and sometimes destroys families. We wind up working longer hours that take away precious moments with our kids. We need to stop, take a deep breath and just listen to them. We need to show genuine interest in them and what they are into. Kids don’t need material “stuff” nearly as much as you think they do. They need time with you. They need to know that they are an important part of what makes your family amazing and special. Don't let them become just a financial burden that you have to bear.

I guarantee that your child will be better off going without an X-Box 360 or a new I-phone if that means having more quality time together as a family. Take some time to play badminton in the back yard or let them learn how to bake cookies with you or help you change the oil in the car. You see, doing things TOGETHER, even simple things like family chores, builds a sense of togetherness, of family, of security and belonging that kids today desperately need. If your home is truly a haven and your relationships are sound, then the pull of peer pressure will be lessened. Of course your children need to spread their social wings and make connections, bonds and friendships outside the home. But if home is a safe place for them. If home is a field of good memories, of caring, of doing things together, oh my, what a huge difference that will make in the heart and psyche of your child. We are seeing a generation of children growing up who have had more material benefits than any previous generation. They are exposed to more opportunity. They have more “stuff”. Yet, so many are emotionally bankrupt, starved for affection and lost. Why? Because home was just a place to go to sleep at night. And in some cases, it was more like a hornet’s nest where the child felt the need to tip-toe through the house not making any waves for fear that a parent, step-parent, live-in or older sibling would suddenly lose their cool and pop off, become emotionally abusive or worse.

I don’t expect us to go back to the days of Andy Griffith and Leave it to Beaver. That’s not reality. But in the midst of our fast-paced, media saturated society where kids are exposed to more and more garbage and bad examples of character at an earlier and earlier age, it is that much more essential that they see a standard at home that is strong, trustworthy, consistent, reliable, loving and safe…a haven of nurturing support that will establish and guide them through their childhood years.