Not Everybody Loves Raymond

Recently I’ve been watching re-runs of the show “Everybody Loves Raymond” which runs on the TBS cable channel here in Orlando. It’s a funny show. And while I enjoy watching it, I find myself getting mad at the TV screen several times throughout an episode. (not a truly rational behavior, I know) Why you ask? Well I guess I get ticked off at what a bad father the character Ray plays. No he's not "bad" in in an axe murderer sort of way. He’s just always avoiding any responsibility to lead his children, set a good example for them and stand up for his family and his wife, against the constant meddling of his mother. I mean, geeze. The show is funny but unfortunately the parenting strategy and values that show puts forth are horrible, even though it’s a reasonably clean show without a lot of trashy sexual innuendo and violent behavior. Then I consider how many other television shows have men with similar characters, where the lead male in the house is basically a dork. Consider Still Standing or King of Queens with Kevin James, (who’s a really funny guy if you ask me). Why do these shows bug me? I guess because I realize how comfortable Hollywood has become at portraying men in a way that “de-masculinizes” them. How are young boys and girls for that matter going to grow up with a clear understanding of how a man should act?

What do I want to see when I talk about portraying a positive male role model in the media? I guess I’m looking for examples of men who act like I want my own sons to act. Men who are strong, courageous, willing to take risks. Men who dream big dreams, who stand up for truth and justice. Men who don’t pick fights but who don’t run from them either. Men who live to not rule over their wives and kids but serve them…and yet while serving them are not afraid to exert leadership an authority in a way that makes a household thrive. Where are these examples in the media, in our culture today?

I think it would be awesome if the media gave us lots of positive examples of strong husbands and fathers. That would be great. And certainly there are some great examples out there. You just have to look for them. But the most critical example of what a strong, godly man looks like needs to come from you and me. As a father, you have to be the ultimate example that your kids want to emulate. Truth is, you are setting an example whether you like it or not. The only questions is whether or not you are setting a good one. You do your job well and the rest of the world can put forth all kinds of trashy examples of what it means to be an excellent father and husband. Your kids can see all sorts of mediocre to poor examples of a dad and it will make the bar you have set for your own life look that much higher. You will be that much more of the hero and standard that your kids will set for themselves. Am I putting too much pressure on you to perform? I don’t think so. I certainly am no superstar of a husband and father, though I hope my wife and kids would beg to differ. Men like a challenge. So before you spend too much time focusing on things like lowering your golf score or winning your Fantasy Football pool, step back and ask yourself if you are being the kind of husband and father that you are capable of being. It will make all the difference in the world to your kids.